The winds gust and howl bending the pine trees outside my window. A redbird is riding out this storm on a cylinder feeder. He reminds me of myself. Riding out life’s storms.
This is a particular storm that I dislike the most. It is the storm of emptiness. It is that place where you don’t feel God in your life. Hell can surely be defined as any place without God. He is nowhere for me to find Him. I get up early and sit alone – nothing. I call out to Him and yet I do not hear His coming to me. I cannot discern His presence.
Where are You God? I have so many questions and need so many answers. You know that I have a huge retreat in April and multiple speeches and sermons to prepare and yet nothing is coming to me to write. And, what about this book? This book was Your idea and I’m sitting here begging for instruction and – nothing.
How easy it would be for me to question my purpose. To wonder if I am completely off base. To ask myself if anything I have said or done has meant anything to anybody. But, I won’t. I will not worry and concentrate on what I do not know and cannot control. But, I will concentrate and meditate on what I do know.
You see Lord, you promised that you would never leave me. You promised that you would go before and behind me; that you would protect and guide me. And, You never break a promise. So, I’ll just wait. I know You are here. I know it because You told me.
This servant will wait.
“I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His word, I put my hope.” Psalm 130:5