I have the most wonderful little companion. A miniature Schnauzer. Gray with a short white beard, he is my little man. 91 years old in human years, he is failing. Not only with weight loss and fatigue but with physical signs that I can no longer ignore. Today, we go to Virginia Tech where I will get a diagnosis and make a decision on what to do.
This is a place that I don’t like or want to be. He has loved me in my worst of moods. He has loved me in my absence. But, when is enough – enough? Does he suffer? And, in whose ‘best interest’ is it anyway to let him continue to be? Will he understand? Will he forgive me?
Forgive me for loving him enough to allow him the dignity of passing on with no further pain. Forgive me for wanting him to leave this earth in a state of nobility that he has always portrayed. Forgive me.
I am reminded of our beloved Doberman Windsor who passed away only a year ago. These two were and will be great companions. For what I know for sure is that whether we are living in this world or the next, we are all still living.
I will miss him but will hold him in my heart – until that time – until my time comes.
“Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” Hebrews 11:1